Matthew in the middle...

...And so begins week... I don't know... 40 plus! Overdue, biscuits are burning, late fees at the library, etc... Let's get this show on the road already! We have what should be our last scheduled baby appointment tomorrow, so no real definitive changes since my last post. The wife does seem less and less mobile as we get further and further past what was the due date, but I think she's pretty happy to have been relatively unhindered for most of her pregnancy in regards to getting around. I mean, I know of a few cases where the mother went on bed rest for a large percentage of their pregnancy, and I just think my wife is grateful that her case wasn't like that. She has also been approved to work half days until the inevitable happens, so that's a bonus as well. I guess the only major development recently pertains to the, what seems like, constant badgering of onlookers as to what Ian's middle name will be. We had discussed it once or twice before, and we were both content without a middle name, but with everyone we come into contact with coercing us of the necessity, we have decided that it may be better for Ian to have one. I suppose it will only aid him in the future to have a middle initial, if only for identification purposes when his birth certificate is called into question during his race for the presidency. Anyway, I'm sure the pins and needles are digging into your ass by now, so our son's official name will be... cue drum roll... Ian Matthew! Yes, he will continue the illustrious namesake of his father, and thereby giving his parents a few more syllables to shout when he undoubtedly performs some of the same ill-advised feats as the moronic name donor, from whose man-gravy he hath been spawned. I think it will be especially useful in his understanding of the degree of the offense he has committed, since there is an obvious difference between a simple "IAN!" and an "IAN MATTHEW!!". After all, I learned the difference from my father pretty quick, and I'm admittedly an idiot. It should be much simpler for Ian, even with only half of my wife's brain. I can see I'm beginning to ramble, so until next time, when hopefully there may be a physical creature to discuss, rather than just a basketball under my wife's shirt.

Ian's not here, but I guess we'll just have to sleep it off...

I guess it's officially our due date today, but apparently Ian didn't get the memo. The wife's no quitter, though. She's running up and down the stairs as we speak, I assume to shake something loose. I, however, am happy to enjoy what may be the last few days of uninterrupted sleep and lack of supreme responsibility before those customary treasures are lost forever in a sea of 2 a.m. feedings and sullied Huggies. I intend to value the little bit of time I have left to be irresponsible and waste as much of it as possible on frivolous endeavors that soon will have transformed into "things punk-ass kids do" once I am a parent. I can only hope that as we develop a routine for the rearing of our young, a few small slots will open up for my wife and I to relive some trivial pleasures once in a while.

Silly Monster, tricks aren't for Ian...

So, we went to what technically should have been our last scheduled baby appointment yesterday, but it looks like there may be at least one more… I know my wife is so tired of carrying Ian, since she has pretty much been trying everything in her power to expedite the process. She walks everyday with the dog and I, and it’s always like “let’s go another block or two.” Pretty soon we’ll be walking for two hours at a time and I’ll be dragging my exhausted dog for the last mile. We tried the Canino’s thing, and the other day she ate a whole pineapple, since apparently those also speed things up. Finally, at the appointment yesterday, she did this membrane-scrape thing, which (without going into too much detail) is a little more touchy-feely way of encouraging Ian to materialize on this planet. Still nothing. Just for clarification, he is measuring 40 weeks, so the biscuits are done, so to speak… It’s not like we’re trying to make a preemie or anything, I just know my wife has had enough. I feel bad, but most of the time I can’t help but chuckle a little as she rolls and flops in and out of bed 20 times to pee a night, mostly since it kinda reminds me of those kinds of times we won’t have as often anymore, you know, like when you’re so drunk that you roll and flop out of bed 20 times to pee a night? Anyway, our official due date is still tomorrow (as I write this), so he could still arrive on time, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see exactly what little trick my wife tries finally works…

Food so good, your water'll break...

So, there's this sort of local legend about an Italian restaurant in old town Fort Collins... As the story goes, there's quite a high percentage of pregnant women eating at this place and having their babies within 24 hours of the meal... I'm a skeptic, but a willing participant. Anyway, last night we dined at the establishment in question, which is called Canino's, in an effort to release my seed from my wife ASAP. The ritual apparently requires consumption of eggplant rollatini and spumoni ice cream, and you'll be all but guaranteed the next meal you eat will be in your delivery room. My wife, having decided she's had enough of being pregnant, resolved that we dine at said ristorante. I will say that at least the place was fantastic. The building is an old house built in like 1900 or something, and the food could have been the best Italian food I've ever had. Oh, and they have these specials where they roll back the prices to what they were in 1980, when they opened. I had a sampler with lasagna, hand-cut spaghetti, and a giant ravioli for like 4 bucks. My wife, of course, ate the required fare for a speedy expulsion of my seed. As I am writing this, there's only a couple hours for the legend to hold true for us, but unfortunately, I am not very hopeful. My wife has already arrived home from work with no contractions or water breakage or anything. The percentage of success is still high, but I guess it's just not Ian's time...

Ian's Nursery

So, I figured I should maybe post some about the nursery we created for Ian, just for anyone who's interested. The house we live in has a pretty decent setup for the nursery because there was a small office, complete with a small bathroom, on the upper level right next to the master bedroom. I think it should be nice, since all the other bedrooms are on the lower level, so there shouldn't be very much noise for guests and such, but we should be able to tend to the small one easily. Of course, we still have a baby monitor anyway, so it really doesn't matter I guess except for the guest-disturbance factor. Anyway, the theme we went with for the nursery bedding was the Jill McDonald "Adorable Dinos collection. The wife didn't really like it at first, but this turned out to be one of the very few battles in which I emerged with the "W". As far as paint scheme, we wanted something pretty simple, not too cluttered. Not too much taping and prep, in other words. We went with a two-tone scheme with a nice light blue on the top and a khaki color on the bottom, with a white chair rail in the middle. We also opted for the Olympic premium paint from Lowes because it contains zero VOC's, which is some compound that is apparently harmful to preggos. There was already a built-in cabinet in the room, which we painted white, and then all the other storage furniture and the changing table are from IKEA. The crib we found new at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore for like $50, which was awesome. Other than that, it's pretty straight-forward. There's some random things, like the adorable dinos decals on the walls and a leaf canopy over the crib from IKEA, but other than that it's just full of all the crap we got from various showers and gifts. Hopefully Ian will enjoy spending time in there... asleep.

...and so it begins!

Well, it's official... I am multiplying. Look out, world! As this is my inaugural post on this blog, I figure a little background is necessary. I am a first-time father, and the baby of my family, so I have like no infant experience. There is definitely a mixture of excitement and terror welling up inside me, but at this particular moment, fear is in the lead. As I write this, we are exactly one week from our due date. We've gotten everything set up and ready for the arrival, but that only goes so far in regards to easing the worry. I'll try to keep posting regularly as my hope is just talking about the million things that go through my ignorant mind each day will make it less frightening. Wish me luck!